i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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