your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
