i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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