Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize