I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
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just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
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The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize