So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
