What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
