i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
