A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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