My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
