Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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