Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
