I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
