You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
