I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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