The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
