I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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