just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
