and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
