Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
