never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
