He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
