it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
God I need to hump something, right now.
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