new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
