Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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