carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
