Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
