I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
And then he peed in my hair
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