Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
