I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
