You're a womanizer and a bitch.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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