hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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