I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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