thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I can't turn off my feet"
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
