i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
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