did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
