Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
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Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My vagina is very pro this idea
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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