dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
