it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
