dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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