Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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