he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
