i permit you to call me
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Someone signed my nipple.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
