Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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