Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
When did angry sex become our thing?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
