an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
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