I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
