So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
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I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
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As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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