what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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