did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
