high people should be assigned attendants
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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