i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
