TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
