i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
