i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
