Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
