Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
