"it" just moved
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
If I die, sorry about rent.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
