fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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