sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
