love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
