did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
