??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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